Jus wanna to hold on to u.. When nothing mattered~

✖I don't care what life will be in future!_____I jus wanna to hold u TIGHT close to me!_____✖

Wednesday, May 30, 2007=report book result=

=Hello all=

Ps ps i have not been updating my blog so long le...lolx hahax...So sorri i too lazy le larhx..lolx
Well, about my last post , i was quite moody bahx but nw dun worry i'm fine again..Wan to know the reason why?Well, If wasn't mdm kamisah i won't been typing right now cause she help mi up when i fall down so thz alot to her...hahax

=PTC day=

Ok on that day, I was so surprise that my form teacher mr shaiful was helping mi by talking to my mum that hw good i am lolx...Sorry i'm not showing off but i just wants to let u all know hw happy i am and hw much i wants to thanks mr shaiful...Recently i went to talk to mdm kamisah about my family think den i hope mr shaiful could able to tell my mum the improved of ITE nowdays....Is because whole my family is telling mi that ITE is bad all that but I want them to know that hw much ITE have become ...So on that day mr shaiful talk to my mum about it...And also he say that he dun like the way my sis treat mi if I want he can talk to my sis about it . So i was darn shock that mr shaiful is actucally side me and he keep encourage me to go own my own and he believes that one day I will make my family and he proud!!! [lolx] I hope i can do it...And also that day i explain to my sis le hw i feel although she sae that she feels hurt when i tell her wad i feel [=.="] whatever!! hahax...
Now all the things have solve and i manage to stand up once again !! Congrats chewping!!! hahax

=Result=

Well, i was so surprise that mostly my sub got grade 5 =.=" and also surprise that i actucally gt 4th in class!! haha i was so happy man !!! ^-^
But at the same time i was thinking i got so bad result hw come i still can get 4th? Alot of ppl sae my class lousy...lolx wadever i dun care!!!
Den actucally is my last time i gt top 10 and my family wants to reward mi!! yay!!! finally! And my reward is a bicycle!! ^-^ I wanted for so long le wor..now finally can buy!

=Ytd=

Well, ytd i got lingyu until whole body is wet lolx...hahax den after that i cycle to buy food for my bro, nephew and my bro gf...On my way there, My fren jia yi called mi...and i look bak! While i was turning bak to look for her i slip and fall! My frens was darn shock she sae that she just called mi and i fall down lolx...Hahax I didn't cry larhx Instead i feel very happy that at least when i fall my frens is there and hold mi up ^-^ hehex. I got some cut but it's ok...Cause i used to fall down when i start learning to cycle. So thats wad i told my frens and say that ' that's nothing at all is nt at if i gt bone crack or wad haha just a few cuts but dunno why my hands gt cut and that cuts make mi so pain lolx...Nvm! Who cares!! hehex

Ytd also a day that make mi so happy hahax...Dun tell u all why leh =p
Although i fall down but i also very happy haha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That something that make my mood become happy is a thing that actucally i was waited for so long....That something is .......................................Something lor!!!!!!!! hahax u all go guess what's that bahx!

-Today-

I got a np meeting so went there and talk talk talk learn alot of songs for the camp fire things den went to explore places after that...Went hm lor!!
Sian this holiday is so busy and the time passed so fast!!!! ARh!! I still got alot alot of things haven do leh hw hw?? Haix...Times is rushing mi! >.<

Ok that's end for this post hahax...So takecare and enjoy u'll holiday bahx!!! have fun wor...!!!! hehex

-Sign off=
Mood is up & down wor!! [ Mosty good ]
Hands still pain but nvm narhx!
[29/05/07] veri important day for mi and the day i waited so long hahax]

ℂ_There's Still Me_ℙ --Sorry,I'm Not xPerFecTx--

7:21 PM

Saturday, May 19, 2007result!!!

-Hi all -

Sorry for not updating my blog recently.
I was quite emo this few days reason is very simply is because of my result.
Well, I know I once told u all or even myself that regardless of pass or fail i will still looking forward for the final year exam.I was wondering Am i lying to myself. Maybe i am. I guess it'll feel better if i said that to myself.

Thurday result day,

1st period i gt is my History--- huh? result not bad bahx ...I gt wrote alot halfway haha but anyway i still manage to pass lolx...

2nd period i got my D&T ---Erm...Those who took this paper surprise everybody gt fail...I was darn disappoint because i feel like i'm very useless that even this paper that i have so much confident i still cann be able to pass it. So i went to ask cher about it. He say only 4 people pass cause this only jus the paper haven even added the practical. Which mean I still got hope.So i ask teacher will i be able to pass? He replied which mark is yourS? So i pointed out to him and he told me " sure pass one your paper mark is very near to passing mark which mean I'm one of the person that will passed." So I went bak to my seat and told my friends about it I was so happy ...lolx but those happy doesn't last long.

3rd period i gt back my english ---I was darn disappointed that i was just failed by 3 markx!

4th period i gt bak my math --- Wah! nice one I'm failed! ! From beginning till now my math is always the highest sub among all , yet i still manage to fail good one.. =.=" 9 people passed Out of 36 (cool rite ) 2classes-My class and 3nB- 14 people passed out of 70+ people wow.. bravo!

5th period is those who took F&N but not me lolx....

The rest don't need to say liao i'm fail cool rite!!!!! Only social studies which i came in 1st in class (Wadever! it's still useless no body will Be feeling happy for me not even my family!! )
2 out of 6 subject I'm passed! Hahax the god mux be kidding me for that! I never even got such a fking bloody mid-year result before!! Hw disappointment i am!

I can imagine how my sis going to scold me hw dis encouraging my sis going to say it to me.Now I finally realised , How useless i am just like what my sis said , Hw stupid i am. There no others words to describe hw positive am I. Just feel like ended my without any 2nd thought

-Feeling-

If i'm really ended myself , ppl will say i'm selfish , I'm so silly
But there something i wants to ask them.
Do u all know what I really need now? Everyone is selfish as long as they are human izzit?
Do u all know how discouraging my family is?Do u all understand hw i feel?
If u all know what they said , maybe u all will have the same thought as mine.
I just mainly needed my family support there nothing more I asked more then that!
If they are not supporting me is okay but just don't even use those words to hurt me even deeper.
It's really hurts alot it's make me ' Shen bu ru si ! '
During exam or even the week before I'm tried! I really trying my best to do it but why! Why can't they see that! I just wan them to encourage me .
So what if i really only get top for ss? Will they ' keep it up'? Will they.
There's one things I'm very conform is that THEY WONT!!!
They will say ' So wad? Only get top in ss , it's still useless ...ETC.....'
They Will always look at my NEGATIVE side ! They don't see how much effort i put in they just feel that results tells everything. Yes! most of the people agree with it but sometimes people do put in effort just that they can't able to get what they one reason is because I realised it too late .It's already near to the exam but that all what i can do at that moment , i give my best and that it.Result is like that u all also cannot totally blame me for that ask yourself did U ever encourage me? I can say never! not even once!

I really don't know what will I do when I heard the words that come out from my family. Maybe I will cut my hand till it's bleed and just die or maybe i will run away from home? Let god decide my fate bah! On next fri , If i really survive then thankz god. If i die don't be so sad ,I will watch over u all my frens ^-^
Well...I did think of a positive way to keep me from doing anything stupid & silly is that maybe I will tell myself or even my family ' I will prove it to them that they are wrong ' Well...Does this work? Maybe yes maybe no who knows.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On that day i got my result i was so surprise that mr chai my history teacher praise me for doing quite good for history haha that time i really veri happy but as i start to think , wad about my family? Will they praise me for improving some sub or will they just simply don't give a darn? I guess even i did improve , they just won't able to see that they will only look at hw useless i am , hw loser i have become.

To them : I'm always the loser , A useless , brainless , So stupid , etc.

Friday!
I didn't goes to sch is because i dream that I and shu wei have a quarrel and hw emo i am . Ever since i got my result i really cannot control my temper and i become so short temper. Haix i really don't know what to do. I don't wan to have any quarrel nor fight with anyone , so inorder to stop it i have to stay far apart from them. Sorry sisters & frens !

Today!
So sian at hm nothing better to do..Trying to let the time pass by faster!!!!

--End off- -
I will die or live
OR
Will i be able to survive through this? Let god to decide for me!!!!

ℂ_There's Still Me_ℙ --Sorry,I'm Not xPerFecTx--

6:03 PM

Wednesday, May 16, 2007-life sian-

Boring life~~~

Today so bored man...I going to bored to death!!! arh!!! can't stand it. I wondering if it's is a june holiday what should i do den. Playing games or watch tv? These are the things that i can only do at home.As for studying huh? I can't study at home seriously. If you ask me why , I will answer you cause I lazy.Well , ya! lazy is an excuses , In more detail I could say I don't have the heart in studying at home.So i rather I have sch everyday expt sat & sun. I rather giving up my june holiday then staying at home doing nothing.

These are the plan that I will do it in june holidays : Eating(thats of cause) , Cycling alone , Going for gym alone , Going out with friends , Reading newspaper , Watching tv , explore around alone , Playing games , doing summary for some subject so that i won't rush my study for end-year( that huiying recommend ^-^ Anyway i got to force myself from doing so ) and of cause sleep!!! Hahax...It's seems like alot of activities right..Hehex
Well I'm sure that i will still get bored during all these stuff , dunno why leh.Oh yar! If you notice that some of the activities i wrote as alone well...I'm used to do that alone and i quite enjoy it.^-^

I hope i got remedial everyday during june holiday!!! hahax!! I like to study but i dun like to study at home...zzZzz~~~~ Sian~~~~~~~ -.-
You all must have thought that i'm siao rite...People like holiday and i like to go to sch instead of holiday...lolx
Last time i used to like holiday alot as i can make used of those time to train my maple . But as for now i think maple is quite bored . So now during holidays there nothing can really spend my whole day.

-My emo-
Well , Sometimes i really cannot control my emo , Hope you all understand that. Just like these few days i was quite sad and don't really bear that my teachers is leaving. Even though they only teach us for a few month , I'm still happy about it.My emo have been swinging alot of times , I wondering why. Just like just now , Just because of small things I feel that i cann control myself , as in a way that trying to hurt myself.I really don't know what should I do so that I can calm myself down.Guess that's nothing bahx.

-Regarding flu bugs -
To all readers...lolx
Must really take good care of yourself as this flu bugs is spreading around. Alot of people around got sick due to this idoit bugs....So beware of this ...hahax thats all i have to say...Cya!!! =p

End off-
*Feeling emo.....*
Emo keep on swinging like hell...lolx

ℂ_There's Still Me_ℙ --Sorry,I'm Not xPerFecTx--

12:26 AM

Sunday, May 13, 2007-cip day-

Hello ---

-The things i remember so far-

On friday....After i finish my exam 1st things cum into my mind is to go find my favorite teacher & pass the present to them...So once i go to the staff room i knock onto the door ..hehex 1st teacher i saw is mrs lim...lolx so pass her the present and tok 4 a few hrs...hahax den she told mi that she gg to cum bak at june the last week, so i was quite surprise and happy abt it but at the another hand i heard tat my favorite teacher ms khoo is leaving wah! die one stay one leave lolx....Anyway i wish her all the best! After toking to some teachers 4 a few hr i went to find huiyi and sw den after tat waited for chengchin 4 one hr ....Yeahx den we go to eat our breakfast & lunch...Yeahx tat all abt fri ....

On sat..
Is my CIP day !!! hehex...Starting was quite happy tat i gt sister to accompany me there but in the end ..Is end wif a disappointed. I wake up at ard 6.30a.m coz i nid to reach yishun mrt at 7.30 coz huiyi told mi tat we are arrange to meet each other at ther by 7.30a.m and in case i forget huiyi keep reminding mi so i was like am i so forget full? yeahx?lolx anyway i manage to wake up earlier and prepare....At ard 7.10 bahx i sms huiying tat if possible we also meet together so wad her reply is tat she nt going ..ytd she sae she going nw nt ..well okay i wasn't angry abt it...So the another msg i got is tat huiyi is nt gg to due to stomachache ..ok cann blame her also coz she got stomachache recently ...well so i called sw and she is still slping...well...cann blame her also she is always cann wake up...HUH? in a conclusion i cann blame them ..Ok nvm! so i went to bus stop and wait 4 bus at the same time called my fren which they are gg ...ok none of them ans the phone and Turning on their phone ...ok nth to sae so i was thinking wah last min no wan pei wo ok nvm i went hm. Suddenly i recieve my fren msg and ask mi i called her 4?So i sms bahx and saying tat oh it's okay i nt gg 4 CIP le so she suddenly reply sae muz go..den i was like..o.O? lolx ok den go lor ..BTW i was late so i took cab there so finally i manage to reach there nt on time but dun reaili veri late bahx...So many ppl sia!!! I was kinda shock man!
Gt include other sch also and most students is from RI....

So poh ling , shi yun , li jun & me are doing together so we went to eat mos burger for our breakfast ...The mos burger shop they are reaili wad lor...sae open at 9.30a.m den in the end open at 10a.m, power rite...We were waited for an hr le..So at ard 10plus we are abt to go off suddenly the whole power switch off...wah! darn dark man ! so we use our hp and switch on the touch light hahax...so fun sia but after a few min it's light on le...So nt fun le...hahax at tat moment rite we were talking veri loudly sia den li jun and poh ling walk off coz they feel veri ps as i and shi yun is toking veri loudly in the mos burger lolx...wahhaha...=p

After tat we went to AMK to ask ppl 4 donation so i and jun one group another group is pohling and shi yun. so li jun and i stand nt veri far from each other and we stand there 4 abt 1hr plus bahx...Huh? there ppl quite nice sia..hahax . huh? ard 12 plus we stop le gott to go bak and return it to them...So i went to call the another group of frens to cum bak and meet us...Surprisingly they were at library reading books while i and my frens is collecting the donation kns larhx...NT FAIR lolx wadever...So on the mrt train we were laughing away hahax...Den the mrt train reach yishun and i was walking to alight my fren pull mi bak i was like why? Is yishun u noe we gott to go hm...Den i suddenly remember we should go bak to woodland and return bak the thing den can go hm...I was like so ps...lolx lallalalallalala =p =p =p
Den we test each other our IQ lolx...Quite funny and stupid u noe..hahax

Finally we are bak!!!!
hahax.....Aiya i lazy to type the rest le lolx...

ard 1plus bahx my sis asked mi to go far east wif her as u all noe i cann reject her as she sae until veri ke lian like tat so bo bian i went there and brought a veri cool shoes as i was planing to buy it when i 1st saw it...I was looking 4 those kind of shoes 4 so long finally i can buy but it's cost quite exp bahx so i pay lor...bo bian i reaili like it alot...I give up on buying bicycle le bahx...Nw totally broke like hell...>.<

-TODAY-
Well...today is mother day lolx...I went to my grandmother house and ate dinner so at the same time i drink wine..lolx so bitter man so i onli drink a bit den my face kinda like red & dark lolx....hahax Nth special today jus kinda angry abt huiyi...aiya wadever hack care!!!!!!!!!!

End off-
Nth!!

ℂ_There's Still Me_ℙ --Sorry,I'm Not xPerFecTx--

11:41 PM

Friday, May 11, 2007-so sad teachers is leaving-

-Exam week is OVER!!!-

Hahax hello guys...Sorri 4 nt updating recently due to exam. Well during exam i was quite stress and alot of things larhx...Anyway i was quite happy that my exam is finally over regarding of pass or fail i still have to work extra hard for my final-year-exam.So do u all guys gott to work hard u noe...Especially my sisters hahax....I can see that chengchin is working quite hard for mid-year jia you wor...Well...as for sw and hy erm..If possible try to work extra harder bahx.But my mid-year i think i'm gg to fail it due to emo bahx...hahax

You know today should be a very happy day for me due to exam is over however i'm was quite sad that my favorite teacher ms khoo is leaving today haix...As for mr koh thz alot for sparing time with mi during remedial and thz to him that becoz of his remedial i didn't study for my history and most importantly is that wadever he sae gt cum is = to nv cum out =.="lolx anyway we also cann blame him for tat as he doesn't noe wad the question will be tested.
As for ms khoo rite ...I reaili feel like crying when i heard tat she leaving but infront i cann cry wad so bo bian ..So i treasure the last few min talking to her. Is like both my favorite teachers (mrs lim & ms khoo) either one have to go ...But why must be them who is leaving instead of others? But anyway mrs lim still staying in the sch so i have to learn alot of things from her and both my favorite teachers is veri nice to me. ^-^ Jus wan to tell them , i reaili appreciate everysingle things that they have done to me. And i will never forgets them.
There something i feel veri weird lor is that mr koh says that he will coming bak den mrs lim says tat she is nt coming bak but in the end is the other way round...lolx werid rite...hahax But den i pefer tis way hahax coz mrs lim is staying yay!!!!! But ms khoo is leaving >.< Well are they trying to make my heart feel balance? One side happy another side feel sad? lolx

Btw i will look forward in future ^-^

Sign off-
Balance feeling hahax ^-^

ℂ_There's Still Me_ℙ --Sorry,I'm Not xPerFecTx--

8:04 PM

Tuesday, May 1, 2007-days-

=Feel so useless=

Well...Ytd i went to detention , remedial , northpoint and last but nt least i went to KTV lols....Hahax so long nv went to ktv le my sound so werid. So reach hm ard 2.am so early hor hahax. okok i get to main point bahx

Ytd i went to see mdm kamisah again due to 3things bahx. Den we had a tok all tat , She cum wif a gd idea tat why don't my sister and i make an agreement tat we be best of frens? Izzit gd? Better den nw rite? Maybe we will get less hurting from each other or can even acpt each other as fren all tat.So wad u'll ans? ok or cann? Haix these few days , she is so lost...I dunno wad should i sae or wad can i do so tat i can bring her "soul" bak...The person who bring mi bak is mdm kamisah. Why nt she try tat also maybe it's could be some help.But haix I sae so many times le she still dun wan to go..Well is her choice anyway. Neither do i wan to force her.Huiyi ar...I wonder wad happen to her sia , she keep ignore mi. Well..Do i do anything wrong? if so can tell mi ? Better den nw i anyhw jump into conclusion haix...
We will see hw bahx..Sian lehx everyday is like keep dreaming wan i HATE tat !!Does u'll dream too? hehex=p
Although there are so many things happen , to mi is ok coz feeling lost too..No larhx nt reaili...hahax Well..i learn to take things easily. but i sometimes can't control my emo hope u all can understand tat.Sometimes i wonder hw could i help her where else i nid ppl helps too. so haix i still can't help anything , letting it to rock bahx .Anyway she nid to let go....You yuan yi ding hui zai yi qi de...Somemore we still younger , wan find bf there alot in our future hahax....Of coz u two mux be have the fate to be together... If nt the relationship will be like nw...

Refering to rl = hehex
[ " No boyfriend , No problem "] Wahahax..."No offence " ^-^

Sign off-
pingz
Dun wan to jump into any conclusion =p

ℂ_There's Still Me_ℙ --Sorry,I'm Not xPerFecTx--

10:52 AM